Wednesday, 2 September 2020

Etomology Session-25

EDUCATOR AMAN PANDEY EDUCATOR AMAN PANDEY EDUCATOR AMAN PANDEY EDUCATOR AMAN PANDEY EDUCATOR AMAN PANDEY EDUCATOR AMAN PANDEY EDUCATOR AMAN PANDEY EDUCATOR AMAN PANDEY EDUCATOR AMAN PANDEY CONTENT CREATOR AMAN PANDEY SIR

ETOMOLOGY BY AMAN PANDEY SIR

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>*

ETOMOLOGY BY AMAN PANDEY SIR

*<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

Tuesday, 1 September 2020

Certificatied Writer- Aman pandey Sir

EDUCATOR AMAN PANDEY EDUCATOR AMAN PANDEY EDUCATOR AMAN PANDEY EDUCATOR AMAN PANDEY EDUCATOR AMAN PANDEY EDUCATOR AMAN PANDEY EDUCATOR AMAN PANDEY EDUCATOR AMAN PANDEY EDUCATOR AMAN PANDEY CONTENT CREATOR AMAN PANDEY SIR

ETOMOLOGY BY AMAN PANDEY SIR

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Friday, 28 August 2020

ETOMOLOGY SESSION 24 BY AMAN PANDEY SIR

EDUCATOR AMAN PANDEY EDUCATOR AMAN PANDEY EDUCATOR AMAN PANDEY EDUCATOR AMAN PANDEY EDUCATOR AMAN PANDEY EDUCATOR AMAN PANDEY EDUCATOR AMAN PANDEY EDUCATOR AMAN PANDEY EDUCATOR AMAN PANDEY CONTENT CREATOR AMAN PANDEY SIR

ETOMOLOGY BY AMAN PANDEY SIR

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Wednesday, 26 August 2020

SESSION-23

CONTENT CREATOR AMAN PANDEY SIR

ETOMOLOGY BY AMAN PANDEY SIR

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Monday, 17 August 2020

SESSION -22

Written by Aman pandey Sir <<<<<<<<<<<<<

ETOMOLOGY BY AMAN PANDEY SIR

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Tuesday, 11 August 2020

ETOMOLOGY BY AMAN PANDEY SIR, SESSION 21

written by Aman pandey Sir <<<<<<<<<<<<<

ETOMOLOGY BY AMAN PANDEY SIR

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Wednesday, 5 August 2020

ETOMOLOGY BY AMAN SIR , SESSION-19

https://drive.google.com/file/d/15FIevKZ-PRcy1zmr18pHwNShmriFMdUE/view?usp=sharing

Tuesday, 21 July 2020

Etomology By Aman Pandey Sir

Thursday, 16 July 2020

Etomology notes by Aman pandey Sir AMAN PANDEY SIR- session 15 & 16

Etomology notes by Aman pandey Sir

Dear readers you can download the word power made easy notes of session 15 & 16 from the link of the google drive given below.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1qpD3HK2FRhC32ljxoWui8IirkaW6r1Yg/view?usp=sharing

Friday, 10 July 2020

Etomology notes by Aman pandey Sir AMAN PANDEY SIR

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1s5_ThiIJmqbZNUZjl4w3lpFdfn4cRc8E/view?usp=sharing

Dear students You can directly download the notes of Word Power Made Easy Notes of Session 14. from the link provided .

Friday, 3 July 2020

Etomology notes by Aman pandey Sir AMAN PANDEY SIR session12 & 13

Dear students You can directly download the notes of Word Power Made Easy Notes of Session 12 & 13. from the link provided below.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1sPKeDbFyKCywPztB5ehDL3JTLsGc9mAQ/view?usp=sharing

Sunday, 28 June 2020

SESSION 11 NOTES

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1nXvQ_dxct2n7pEb64QXQEhYrceYw-byl/view?usp=drivesdk

DEAR STUDENTS YOU CAN DIRECTLY DOWNLOAD THE NOTES OF WORD POWER MADE EASY NOTES OF SESSION 11 FROM THE LINK GIVEN AT THE TOP. KEEP LEARNING.

Thursday, 25 June 2020

Etomology notes by Aman pandey Sir AMAN PANDEY SIR

DEAR STUDENTS YOU CAN DIRECTLY DOWNLOAD THE NOTES OF- WORD POWER MADE EASY SESSION-9 TO 10

FROM THE LINK GIVEN BELOW.

JUST CLICK THE LINK AND THE DOCUMENT WILL BE OPENED IN GOOGLE DRIVE.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1n9RM3_AdXB9u1rfFCDmm5YFG5XI2dRgS/view?usp=drivesdk

Saturday, 20 June 2020

Etomology SESSION-5 to 8 (pdf notes)

DEAR READERS YOU CAN DIRECTLY DOWNLOAD THE NOTES OF-WPME SESSION-5 to 8

TOPIC( HOW TO TALK ABOUT DOCTORS)

FROM THE LINK BELOW.

JUST CLICK THE LINK AND THE DOCUMENT WILL BE OPENED IN GOOGLE DRIVE.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1lwE-Yr7yr0BiHpcht0Q1Z9csU59-0Y98/view?usp=drivesdk

Friday, 12 June 2020

Etomology Session (Word Power) by Aman Pandey Sir

Session-4 how to talk about doctors

Dear students you can directly download form the link below of google drive.

Thanks for your cooperation.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1kB3i_h4OBjdsj64yvjB7jqCZIQX8Kp6N/view?usp=drivesdk

Friday, 19 January 2018

Feeling Unmotivated . Try This Technique

The Next Time You Feel Unmotivated to Do Anything, Try This Technique

Do you ever find that once you get started on a project, it becomes hard to put things down again? You pick up momentum, and soon your creativity and energy levels are at an all-time high. The only problem, though, is that it seems like an insurmountable challenge to get started on your work in the first place.

One of the worst times we face this feeling is early in the morning. You're groggy, the day ahead of you is long, and you haven't touched your work in awhile. It's no wonder you don't feel like doing anything.

Instead of focusing on your most important task, maybe you resort to refreshing your email, clicking on a viral video, or chatting with someone who's available to talk. Sound familiar?

The "page-turner" technique

This is where my "page-turner" technique to productivity comes in.

Here's how it works: Imagine hearing part of a story and, just before getting to the good part, you hear a preview of what happens next. Unfortunately, you have to wait until next time to hear the rest of the story. This creates a feeling of anticipation as you wait eagerly to know what will happen next time.

This same technique can be applied to productivity. So if you're working on a project, just leave it partially done, or jot down the next steps for the following day. For instance, if I'm in the middle of writing a post, I'll just leave it partially done and have a few bullet points down for the next time I sit down to finish it.

As a result, the upcoming task quietly brews in the back of my mind. As it sits there, a new idea might pop up, or I might think of a better way to approach a task.

How to apply the technique

First, think of a goal you'd like to work on. For example, let's say you're looking to draft cold emails for job opportunities. Your aim is send out five to ten emails a day.

And so, you send out a few emails on Monday. Then what? Afterward, in accordance with the page-turner technique, you could jot down:

A list of people you want to reach out to the following day.
A few companies in mind from which to grab contact names.
A few emails saved in "Drafts" ready to go.
The most important part of the technique is that you keep the momentum going. At the end of the day, plan out a couple things you need to do for the next day while it's still fresh in your mind.

Even if you're not successful in getting results or you don't get the response you want, keep the pipeline moving regardless. Don't stall and wait to hear back. Just keep moving.

You want to continue having a "page-turner" at the end of every day. Instead of waiting for inspiration or staring at your screen, you know what to do and are ready to go.

What if a task can't be left partially done?

But what if the task you're working on has to be finished in segments? Fitness is a good example. If you're walking or jogging outside, you can't just just reach your endpoint and decide you don't want to get back home.

So how do you create an incentive for yourself to keep exercising the next day?

By making yourself feel obligated to continue where you left off. If you're jogging and reach a certain landmark, you can pinpoint another landmark or trail and make it a point to reach it the next time you go jogging again.

Another way to create a "page-turner" is by leaving your running shoes and a pair of socks out in a space where it's impossible for you to ignore. Instead of putting away your shoes, put them beside the door and place your exercise clothes near your bed so that you can pick up where you left off.

Now it's your turn. What is the biggest goal on your mind that you're looking to achieve? What can you do to make yourself want to continue right where you left off the day before?

➖ A for Advice & A for Aman.
#motivational

Essay on Digital India by Your friend Aman Pandey😊

Digital India

Digital India project was launched by the Prime Minister Sh. Narendra Modi on 1st of July in 2015. It is an effective

scheme to transform India for better growth and development of the people and country. Digital India week (from

1st July to 7th July) was inaugurated by the PM on Wednesday in the presence of senior ministerial colleagues and

leading companies CEOs. It aims to give India a digital push for good governance and more jobs. The PM of India has

tried his best towards digitizing campaign for India in order to bridge the gap between government services and

people. Digitization was the need to be implemented in India for bright future and grow more than any other

developed country. Following are the benefits of digital India campaign:

# It makes possible the implementation of digital locker system which in turn reduces paper work by

minimizing the usage of physical documents as well as enabling e-sharing through registered repositories.

# It is an effective online platform which may engage people in governance through various approaches like

“Discuss, Do and Disseminate”.

# It ensures the achievement of various online goals set by the government.

# It makes possible for people to submit their documents and certificates online anywhere which reduces

physical work.

# Through e-Sign framework citizens may digitally sign their documents online.

# It may ease the important health care services through e-Hospital system such as online registration, taking

doctor appointments, fee payment, online diagnostic tests, blood check-up, etc.

# It provides benefits to the beneficiaries through National Scholarship Portal by allowing submission of

application, verification process, sanction and then disbursal.

# It is a big platform which facilitates an efficient delivery of government or private services all over the

country to its citizens.

# Bharat Net programe (a high-speed digital highway) will connect almost 250,000 gram panchayats of

country.

#There is a plan of outsourcing policy also to help in the digital India initiative.

#For better management of online services on mobile such as voice, data, multimedia, etc, BSNL’s Next

Generation Network will replace 30-year old telephone exchange.

#National Centre for Flexible Electronics will help in the promotion of flexible electronics.

 Large scale deployment of Wi-Fi hotspots has been planned by the BSNL all across the country.

 There is a Broadband Highways in order to handle all the connectivity related issues.

 Open access of broadband highways in all the cities, towns and villages will make possible the availability of

world-class services on the click of mouse.

Essay on Make in India

Make in India

Make in India campaign was launched in new Delhi by the Prime Minister Sh. Narendra Modi on 25th of September

in 2014. It is an initiative to make a call to the top business investors all across the world (national or international)

to invest in India. It is a big opportunity to all the investors to set up their business (manufacturing, textiles,

automobiles, production, retail, chemicals, IT, ports, pharmaceuticals, hospitality, tourism, wellness, railways,

leather, etc) in any field in the country. This attractive plan has resourceful proposals for the foreign companies to

set up manufacturing powerhouses in India.

Make in India campaign launched by the Indian government focuses on building the effective physical infrastructure

as well as improving the market of digital network in the country to make it a global hub for business (ranging from

satellites to submarines, cars to softwares, pharmaceuticals to ports, paper to power, etc). The symbol (derived from

national emblem of India) of this initiative is a giant lion having many wheels (indicates peaceful progress and way to

the vibrant future). A giant walking lion with many wheels indicates the courage, strength, tenacity and wisdom. The

page of Make In India on the Facebook has crossed more than 120K likes and its twitter followers are more than 13K

within few months of launching date.

This national program is designed to transform the country into a global business hub as it contains attractive

proposals for top local and foreign companies. This campaign focuses on creating number of valuable and honored

jobs as well as skill enhancement in almost 25 sectors for improving the status of youths of the country. The sectors

involved are automobiles, chemicals, IT & BPM, aviation, pharmaceuticals, construction, electrical machinery, food

processing, defense manufacturing, space, textiles, garments, ports, leather, media and entertainment, wellness,

mining, tourism and hospitality, railways, automobile components, renewable energy, mining, bio-technology, roads

and highways, electronics systems and thermal power.

The successful implementation of this plan will help in the 100 smart cities project and affordable housing in India.

The main objective is to ensure solid growth and valuable employment creation in the country with the help of top

investors. It will benefit both parties, the investors and our country. The government of India has created a

dedicated help team and an online portal (makeinindia.com) for the easy and effective communication of investors.

A dedicated cell is committed to answer all the queries from business entities anytime.

Most important essays for descriptve exams by Aman Pandey.

Startup India Standup India.

Introduction
India is a country of many great legends who were famous all over the world because of their works, sharp mind and
high skill. However, our country is still on the developing track because of the lack of some solid support and ways to
work in right direction. Youths in India are very talented, highly skilled and full of innovative ideas. This scheme is a
big help to them to go in right direction using their new and innovative ideas.
What is Startup India Standup India Campaign
A new campaign named as Startup India, Standup India was announced by the Prime Minister Narendra Modi during
his speech on Independence Day 2015. This is an effective scheme launched on 16th of January 2016 by the Modi
government to help youths of the country. This is an initiative by the Indian PM to give opportunities to the youths
to become industrialists and entrepreneurs which need the establishment of a startup network. Startups means
youths of the country will be supported through finance from banks to strengthen those startups better so that they
can create more employment in India.
This programme is a big start to enable startups through financial support so that they can use their innovative ideas
in right direction. PM has also requested to all the banks to support at least one dalit and one woman entrepreneur.
This scheme will motivate and promote new comers towards business and grow their career and economy of the

country.Action Plan of Startup India Standup India Scheme
A complete action plan of this scheme was launched on 16th January 2016. This scheme will boost entrepreneurship
in the country at grassroots level ensuring youth benefits from the lowest strata of society. Youths have fresh mind,
new ways, and new thinking so they are better to support as startups. Various IITs, NITs, central universities and IIMs
of India were connected through the live connectivity during the successful launch of campaign. The main aim of this
scheme is to promote bank financing as well as offer incentives for start-up ventures to boost the entrepreneurship
and new job creation techniques among them.
Conclusion
This initiative is the necessity to lead India in right direction. The most important point about this campaign is that it
involves youths of the country as start-ups as they have fresh mind, innovative ideas, required strength, energy, skill,
and new thinking to lead business. Youths are the energetic and highly skilled section of the society so they are
better target for this campaign.

How to write Essay (Format and Technique):

General Essay Format and Technique:
Introduction:
Introductory Paragraph
The introductory paragraph should include the main statement, a kind of mini-outline for the essay: it tells the
reader what the essay is about. The last sentence of this paragraph must also contain a transitional/link
"sentence/statement" which moves the reader to the first paragraph of the body of the essay.
Body:
Body — First paragraph:
The first paragraph of the body should contain the strongest possible argument, most significant example, relevant
illustration/s, or an obvious beginning point. The first sentence of this paragraph should include the "joining
statement" which ties in with the transitional statement at the end of the introductory paragraph. This technique
gives a sense of coherence to the essay.
Body — Second paragraph:
The second paragraph of the body should contain the second strongest argument, second most significant example,
second most relevant illustration, or an obvious follow up the first paragraph in the body. The first sentence of this
paragraph should include the joining statement which ties in with the transitional statement at the end of the first
paragraph of the body. Again The last sentence in this paragraph should include a transitional statement to tie into
the third paragraph of the body.
Body — Third or subsequent paragraph/s (if any):
The third paragraph of the body should contain an obvious follow up to the second/previous paragraph/sin the
body. The first sentence of this paragraph should include the reverse link statement/element which ties in with the
link statement/element at the end of the second paragraph. The topic for this paragraph should be in the first or
second sentence. This paragraph should relate to the statement in the introductory paragraph. The last sentence in
this paragraph should include a transitional concluding link statement/element that signals the reader that this is the
final major point being made in the essay.
You can have as many paragraphs as are required. However each paragraph should be relevant and must have
joining statements to render the coherence to the essay.
Concluding paragraph:

This paragraph should include the following:A summary of the three/or more main points from the body of the essay as discussed in all the paragraphs.
A final statement that gives the reader signals that the discussion has come to an end.

################Sample essay######
Pollution.
In the modern world of technological advancement, pollution has become a serious environmental issue affecting
the lives on earth. Some of the most important types of the pollution are air pollution, water pollution, soil pollution
and noise pollution. All types of the pollution are undoubtedly affecting the whole environment and ecosystem thus
the quality of life. Our naturally beautiful environment on the earth is deteriorating day by day just by the foolish
habits of the human beings.
The main reasons of the air pollution are the heavy emissions of harmful and poisonous gases arise from the
increasing number of vehicles, factories and open burning. In the crowd of betterment of life, everyone wants to
have well resources for their easy daily routine but they do not think a little bit about their natural surroundings.
Most of the air pollution is carried out by the public transportation on daily basis. Carbon dioxide and carbon
monoxide are the toxic gases polluting the air and reducing the oxygen level in the environment.
Manufacturing factories are also the great contributor to the air pollution by meeting the growing demand of
people. During the manufacturing process factories releases some toxic gases, heat and energy into the
environment. Some other habits like open burning of household garbage, etc are also worsening the air quality. Air
pollution causes respiratory disorders including lung cancer among human being and animals.
Water pollution is also a big issue directly affecting the marine life as they only depend on the nutrients found in the
water for their survival. Gradual disappearance of the marine life would really affect the livelihood of human beings
and animals. The reason of the water contamination is harmful wastes from factories, industries, sewage systems,
farms, etc which are directly dumping into the main source of water like rivers, lakes and oceans. Drinking
contaminated water causes serious health disorders to us.
Soil pollution is caused by the use of fertilizers, fungicides, herbicides, insecticides and other organic compounds. It
indirectly affects our health as we eat eating materials produced in the soil. The source of noise pollution is the noise
created from the heavy machinery, vehicles, radio, TV, speaker, etc which causes hearing problems and sometimes
deafness. We should take care of our environment to maintain the natural ecosystem. It requires a joint effort from

everyone to get control over the pollution so that we can get a healthy and unpolluted environment.

Tuesday, 14 November 2017

8 Tiny Changes to Make Your Life 10 Times More Enjoyable

Instead of focusing on huge, radical steps, start moving forward by incorporating these eight changes that are so small and simple that you can implement them immediately.

These eight steps can drastically change your life for the better.

1. Reprogram your mind to stay positive

Our thoughts and actions are influenced by our feelings. That’s why when you’re just feeling “blah” because the weather is crummy or you had a stressful week all you want to do is stay in bed.

2. Set your alarm half an hour earlier

One traits many successful individuals have in common is they get up early. While you don’t have to wake up at the ungodly hour of 3:45 a.m.. like Apple’s Tim Cook, you could start setting your early half an hour earlier. So, if you normally set your alarm for 7 a.m., set it for 6:30 a.m.

3. Clean up after yourself immediately

How long does it really take to make your bed or wash your morning dishes? Maybe five minutes? Here’s the thing. If you don’t stay on top of these minor chores, they quickly build-up. That cereal bowl and coffee mug becomes a sink full smelly dishes that take a lot of time to clean. If washed immediately, you wouldn’t have this headache.

4. Don't over-commit

A common theme I notice with self-help advice is how people make goal-setting sound easy. They’ll suggest that you get more exercise or sleep, but that’s easier said than done when you’re working 12 hour days and helping with a newborn.

If you want to start eating healthier but aren’t much of a cook, try a service like Blue Apron or Sun Basket. They send healthy ingredients to your home and give you step-by-step instructions on how to prepare the meals. If you want to start meditating, start with devoting five minutes a day.

5. Don’t be so predictable

Doing the same thing each and every day puts us in a rut. One of the best things that you can do for yourself is to stop being so predictable. Break out of your comfort zone at least once a week and do something new that you’ve never done before. Try that Thai restaurant. Go snowboarding. Purchase a wardrobe from a different store.

You get the point.

6. Swap complaining for expressing gratitude

Even during my darkest times, I always tried to remain optimistic by reminding myself that despite the failure of my business, I still had the support of my family and friends. That helped me make the best of an otherwise dire situation.

One of the best ways to feel better when you need it most is by showing your gratitude. Be thankful for the best thing that happened to you today.

7. Stop comparing yourself to others

Stop losing sleep over what others have and what you don’t. Here’s the truth: there is always going to be someone who has a better paying job, lives in a nicer house, drives a fancier car and goes on more exotic vacations. Your friends may start families before you. Some might get to retire early.

Comparing yourself just makes you miserable and unhappily preoccupied about what others consider success. Instead, worry about what you define as success.

Who do you think was happier?

8. Tackle the one thing that you’ve been putting off

If you have unfinished tasks, you are carrying a heavy weight around with you all the time, no matter how small each task is. You have to remember it. If possible, when you think of it, do it right then.

After you’ve listed your priorities for the day, add a long-standing chore to your to-do-list. For example, at the end of the workday, you’ll make that phone call or organize your workplace since you’ve already gotten all of your most important, and energy-draining, tasks done for the day.

You’ll be surprised at how much better, and productive, you’ll feel once you've crossed these items off your list — even if it's just a mental list.

Free yourself.

➖ By Aman Pandey ➖

Wednesday, 30 August 2017

All newspapers

Todays newspaper August 30

INSTRUCTION TO DOWNLOAD
CLICK ----> CREATE DOWNLOAD LINK
THEN CLICK ----> CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD WHICH IS DISPLAY IN THE BOTTOM ON THE PAGE

ENGLISH PAPERS

Hindu
https://userupload.net/4epbckt6qge5
Times of india
https://userupload.net/9nhu7bvgyt6b
Indian express
https://userupload.net/3ol27zdob3qq
Tribune
https://userupload.net/l66v58s4i07t
Economic times
https://userupload.net/na8o9tknfuo9
Financial express
https://userupload.net/yjuepyju83ou
Deccan chronacle
https://userupload.net/tovrghkydwjp
Pioneer
https://userupload.net/2my8q1jq6amb
Statesman
https://userupload.net/wlo340j2xhto
Asian age
https://userupload.net/o7x6a5tiyjoo
Dna delhi
https://userupload.net/ocl1x9yg2jtt
Hans india
https://userupload.net/3y460p7hm6lh

HINDI NEWSPAPERS

Dainik bhaskar
https://userupload.net/293ocdd7oo4g
Hariboomi
https://userupload.net/6w1rd45jnaon
Dainik jagran
https://userupload.net/wkqp3ubusy6d

OTHER LANGUAGES

Dainik statesman bengali
https://userupload.net/gi7ltxzq521l
Ts vartha
https://userupload.net/zndtj2l4pjlc
Janayugam
https://userupload.net/yad91zlkhx58

Friday, 28 July 2017

How to Hold a Stress-Free Money Conversation

We all grow up with beliefs about money. These beliefs are ingrained in us whether we like it or not; whether they support or constrain us. Whatever your money outlook may be, talking about money with your spouse or partner can be difficult. It is too easy to fall into a trap ranging from disengagement to outright verbal assault. The mere idea of talking about money and communicating our desires sometimes feels impossible.

The question is: How can you hold a productive and respectable money conversation that feels like a step in the right direction?

Having a productive money conversation is about clearing the path. You must have no blame, accusations, , or hurt feelings involved so a respectable conversation with tough statements can be made—without repercussions. .

Here are 9 ways to bring you closer to having a productive, -free money conversation:

Schedule a time when both of your energies are strong.
Choose a setting where you feel safe, but also not so public that your ‘frankness’ will be consumed by others—in other words: Some place public, but not too public.
Communicate the purpose of the meeting and set out some ground rules, which might include an agreement to maintain appropriate decorum and speech and most importantly, mutual willingness to find a solution.
Verbalize your concerns about the subject matter. Have a “no surprises” policy.
Identify, before you sit down, what trigger words or phrases will be unproductive; words that engender blame.
Set a time limit.
Write down your ideas in advance, allowing you to stick to a well-conceived discussion.
Agree to a signal to create a buffer if emotions start to flare. “I need a minute…” or “Let me think about that…”
Most importantly, maintain a positive attitude and a loving posture.

Always begin your conversation with the standpoint that money conversations are usually difficult and that compassion and needs to be front and center at all times. Life has taught us that no one gets what they want all the time. In order to move closer to finding common ground, we need to listen better, understand more fully and maintain an attitude of openness.

8 Ways to Stop Worrying About What Other People Think

To feel accepted is a nearly universal human desire. After all, we evolved to survive better in groups, where fitting in and having the trust and respect of our peers are the measures of success. The need to belong is in our DNA.

But sometimes that need takes center stage, and what others think about us takes on more importance than what we think about ourselves.

We may analyze each look and word that comes our way for clues that we’ve been judged and found acceptable or lacking. Someone passing in the hall without a hello may leave us red-faced and convinced we don’t deserve notice. We may people-please, always putting others first, which leaves us open to being taken advantage of while we chase praise. We may exhaust ourselves trying to be cool enough, hard-working enough, attractive enough, or successful enough to feel valued.

What’s behind this about being liked, and why are some of us so much more vulnerable to it than others? 

In many cases, it’s a type of echo from the past. At some point in our lives, something or someone may have made connection and affection seem conditional, something we have to fight for and don’t really deserve. A sense of develops as we inevitably fall short of perfection. Author Brené Brown, who has spent her studying shame and the ways in which we can develop what she calls “shame ,” writes of this in her book The Gifts of Imperfection:

“Healthy striving is self-focused: ‘How can I improve?’ is other-focused: ‘What will they think?’”

Perhaps your caregivers were emotionally distant, physically or verbally abusive, or set impossible standards. Perhaps you were bullied at school. Perhaps you felt as though you never measured up in our competitive comparison culture. 

Or perhaps you can't pinpoint an explanation. You just know you feel insecure and unworthy, and that leads you to count on others for reassurance that you matter and belong.

To be sure, wanting to be thought of positively isn’t a bad thing. We all need a little awareness of how others view us to keep balanced and attuned to how we affect others. But too much concern about what people think can lead us to value only what others want from us, rather than what we desire and need. And the irony is that what starts out as an effort to ensure our and acceptance can end up doing the opposite.

Creating a New Mindset

If you recognize that you are someone who's anxious about being liked, there are steps you can take to get back to a healthier relationship with others and with yourself. 

1. Keep things in perspective.

It’s said that people would care a lot less about what others think about them if they knew how little others think about them. And it’s true: Everyone has enough to occupy their mind. They also have their own insecurities. If you're worried about how you come across to someone you’ve just met, keep in mind that they’re probably doing the same. 

2. Question your thinking. 

Humans tend toward distortions, patterns of that can hurt our mood or behavior. For example, we may assume the worst, or filter out the good in a situation and pay attention only to the bad. Or we may overgeneralize or jump to conclusions. Pay attention to your thoughts, and question them rather than allowing impressions to run away with you. You may discover that what you’re fretting over exists only in your mind. 

3. Let go of perfection. 

It can be hard to shake the feeling that if you just get things right, you will be loved and admired. But this is a fruitless pursuit, not only because perfection is an illusion, but because what people think about you has more to do with them than with you.

4. Get to know yourself.

What do you really like? What do you really want? Are you making choices about your career, relationships, and pastimes because you want them or because they’ll please or impress someone else? Allow yourself to try new things and wonder, “What would I pursue or enjoy if I wasn't so worried about being judged?” 

5. Find your tribe. 

Somewhere out there are people who can identify with you and appreciate you for who you are. Don’t waste time trying to hang on to those who expect you to conform to their wishes and wants. Cultivate authenticity, and you’ll find those you are meant to be with. As Brown writes in Daring Greatly, “Because true belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world, our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance.”

6. Allow yourself to be vulnerable. 

It can be terrifying to go against the grain, speak out, take a risk, or face disapproval. But decide what matters to you, trust yourself, and go for it. We don’t grow by always playing it safe; we grow by allowing ourselves a chance to fail. 

7. Accept a helping hand. 

The anxiety you feel about what others think can sometimes be overcome with a little self-awareness. But in some cases, especially for those with underlying trauma or mental issues, professional help can help you get to the root of your feelings. Allow yourself to reach out for the care you need rather than prolonging your suffering. 

8. Be your own friend. 

It’s a tough reality, but you will never be able to make everyone like you, no matter what you do. But look on the bright side: No one else can do it, either. So accept the twinges that will inevitably come when you realize you haven’t made a connection with someone, and focus instead on a goal that will take you further toward being the kind of person you want to be—learning to like yourself, flaws and all.

Tuesday, 27 June 2017